There he goes again..

Dear Blog,

Today, he's leaving again, and i dont know when will i see him AGAIN..he'd left for so many times, and he knows he will always loose me for a while, but thats not his prob..he doesnt care..

Yesterday, i met him, and i thought he will say take care, when im not around or something like that..but he didnt, he just, left...

I guess im the only one in this situation that dream too much, ive so much hope and wish, that has never come true..i dont know when i'll see him again, i wish i dont have this feeling, i do, i dont want to feel this way about someone that doesnt even care..

Hair

Dear Blog,

I last cut my hair on Dec, before i went to Thailand, since then, my hair was like not growing longer, i mean it did, but i feel like its the slowest thing on earth to happen..

It was the shortest haircut that ive ever got, n i wont do it again..haha, the waiting part was so slow..i hate to wait, everyone knows that, n now the internet connection is causing my temper to rise again..

Anyways, here are my latest photo,just for me to keep an eye on the length of it..

p/S: Ive mentioned before, i know im not pretty, but its a gift from Allah swt, i cant be thankful enough for what i have..amin..

I can't force you to love me..

Love will always find a way. You can’t force it, you can’t control it. You can do things or create ways to manipulate it for your own desires, but it will always find its real home, one way or another.

If someone doesn’t love you, you cannot force him to stay with you. You can bribe him, you can blackmail him, but would that really make you happy? Can you really be happy in a relationship that only exists because of responsibility and guilt? What happened to true love? Would you really allow yourself to settle for a relationship that you know is not working anymore? IF someone made it clear that he doesn’t love you anymore, you can’t force him to change his mind. You can’t manipulate situations or people just to have him back. If he wants to go, would it be fair to stop him, even though you know he’s not happy with you anymore? Wouldn’t it be better to set him free, and set yourself free too?

We can never force love. Whether we want to or not, it will run its own course. It can grow, but it can die too. And when that happens, we need to accept it as it is. Love is complicated, but it is beautiful that way. It cannot be explained really, it just IS. So don’t fight it. Don’t manipulate it or force it. You won’t win.

Source by click here

Silence love

I choose to love you in Silence…
For in silence I receive no rejection
Nor should I bother of what it is
That prevents us from being together…
It’s just that we can never be together.
I choose to love you in Loneliness…
For in loneliness no one owns you but I.
I choose to love you from a Distance…
For distance will shield us from pain.
Still, I Love You and I just can’t help but do so.
I choose to kiss you in the wind…
For the wind is gentler than my lips.
I choose to hold you in my Dreams…
For in my dreams, you have no end.
Forever.
That is what you are to me.
In all honesty, I find it hard to believe
That I will ever love somebody
The same way I loved you.

Unknown Author 

sourced from click here

Failed!

Dear Blog,

I failed, i didnt keep my promise, im not strong enuf, im such a disgusting person, why dont i have the strength?

Dear Blog,

A lot of people commented that im too stuck up, too harsh, too rough as a woman..and i really wish i could explain to them..i've live in a family thats been treating me that way, ive been in a lot of relationship that requires me to be a stronger individual..so many people have hurt my feelings so badly..day by day, the number continues to rise..it hurts so bad..


Dear Blog,

A couple of days ago, my friend from JB came, hes such a sweetheart..he has always been a dear person in my life, hes not  a friend, nor a lover, he's just always there for me..especially for me to tell him everything about what im going through, coz he seems to be the one to care and actually listen to me..not like others who pretend to care, but never did..


I call him Id, hes a lovely guy, ive known him for ages, when im with him, i can be myself, he is so charming, and very cute, but somehow im not in love with him, we respect each other that way, his girlfriend, is a dear friend of mine, Camelia, is also in Jb, ive no idea which part, i just dont bother to ask..like the name, Camelia is amazingly beautiful, and a good person, in and out, im really happy for them both, for being such a beautiful couple and great to each other..


So Id waited for me after i finish my work, it has been a while, someone waited for me after work, he sat on the sofa for hours, using his I pad that ive no idea how to use..he was there for me..Camelia was not around, she's in JB, she has work to do..she works in QA firm, i think..


Anyways, when i started to talk to Id about my life lately, my eyes became teary..he could see it, when i was quiet and looking at the ground..so he said, " Chill babe, u know u have me, and Camelia..budak2 macam tu, tak payah fikir, buang masa..u are the mature person here, so be mature about it..' those are the exact words that he said..and i will remember it for eternity..yeap, he's right, ive been a foolish person all this while, but yet,i failed to wake up..


Few years back, i used to date his friend, for a while, but he was amazing, his name is Fido,he's in the airline now, a steward, but Fido chose his career, i told him, i dont want him to join the airline, but he said it was his dream, so it was a mutual, and a mature breakup, hes still a good friend of mine, till today..


But Id has witnessed so many heartbroken that ive been to, he has been there forever, i think hes the only guy that has witnessed my tears running on my face, the most..he has always been there, despite his hectic schedule, and his lovely girlfriend, he knows his boundaries, he respect me for who i am, and hes the only person in the world who calls me ANGEL..how sweet is that?


So, Id, if u are reading this, thanks so much, but again, ive failed u..im so sorry..but ur hug means a lot when u left yesterday..

Wasssalam..

WTH?

Dear Blog,

Who cares about my look? Im not pretty, however, im so thankful to ALLAH SWT for giving me everything that i could wish for, i can breath, i can walk, i can talk, i can smile, alhamdulillah..no complain..im just thankful to you ALLAH swt on this holly Friday.. AMIN..

A new promise..

Dear Blog,

Ive made a big promise yesterday, to ALLAH SWT, the almighty, that i will not respond to the person who hurt my feelings, so badly, and so cruelly.. i just feel so low, so pathetic, so cheap, and so forgotten..

I just feel useless, and i just i am so desperately stupid and foolish, for holding on for this long..i just wish, i will keep my promise, i know i've broken my promises before, but i do not want it to happen again ya Allah swt..

Pls help me, give me the strength to move on, though the future might not be what i want, perhaps it may be what i should have..and i will try to embrace it..insyallah..Amin..

Wassalam..