There he goes again..

Dear Blog,

Today, he's leaving again, and i dont know when will i see him AGAIN..he'd left for so many times, and he knows he will always loose me for a while, but thats not his prob..he doesnt care..

Yesterday, i met him, and i thought he will say take care, when im not around or something like that..but he didnt, he just, left...

I guess im the only one in this situation that dream too much, ive so much hope and wish, that has never come true..i dont know when i'll see him again, i wish i dont have this feeling, i do, i dont want to feel this way about someone that doesnt even care..

Hair

Dear Blog,

I last cut my hair on Dec, before i went to Thailand, since then, my hair was like not growing longer, i mean it did, but i feel like its the slowest thing on earth to happen..

It was the shortest haircut that ive ever got, n i wont do it again..haha, the waiting part was so slow..i hate to wait, everyone knows that, n now the internet connection is causing my temper to rise again..

Anyways, here are my latest photo,just for me to keep an eye on the length of it..

p/S: Ive mentioned before, i know im not pretty, but its a gift from Allah swt, i cant be thankful enough for what i have..amin..

I can't force you to love me..

Love will always find a way. You can’t force it, you can’t control it. You can do things or create ways to manipulate it for your own desires, but it will always find its real home, one way or another.

If someone doesn’t love you, you cannot force him to stay with you. You can bribe him, you can blackmail him, but would that really make you happy? Can you really be happy in a relationship that only exists because of responsibility and guilt? What happened to true love? Would you really allow yourself to settle for a relationship that you know is not working anymore? IF someone made it clear that he doesn’t love you anymore, you can’t force him to change his mind. You can’t manipulate situations or people just to have him back. If he wants to go, would it be fair to stop him, even though you know he’s not happy with you anymore? Wouldn’t it be better to set him free, and set yourself free too?

We can never force love. Whether we want to or not, it will run its own course. It can grow, but it can die too. And when that happens, we need to accept it as it is. Love is complicated, but it is beautiful that way. It cannot be explained really, it just IS. So don’t fight it. Don’t manipulate it or force it. You won’t win.

Source by click here

Silence love

I choose to love you in Silence…
For in silence I receive no rejection
Nor should I bother of what it is
That prevents us from being together…
It’s just that we can never be together.
I choose to love you in Loneliness…
For in loneliness no one owns you but I.
I choose to love you from a Distance…
For distance will shield us from pain.
Still, I Love You and I just can’t help but do so.
I choose to kiss you in the wind…
For the wind is gentler than my lips.
I choose to hold you in my Dreams…
For in my dreams, you have no end.
Forever.
That is what you are to me.
In all honesty, I find it hard to believe
That I will ever love somebody
The same way I loved you.

Unknown Author 

sourced from click here

Failed!

Dear Blog,

I failed, i didnt keep my promise, im not strong enuf, im such a disgusting person, why dont i have the strength?

Dear Blog,

A lot of people commented that im too stuck up, too harsh, too rough as a woman..and i really wish i could explain to them..i've live in a family thats been treating me that way, ive been in a lot of relationship that requires me to be a stronger individual..so many people have hurt my feelings so badly..day by day, the number continues to rise..it hurts so bad..


Dear Blog,

A couple of days ago, my friend from JB came, hes such a sweetheart..he has always been a dear person in my life, hes not  a friend, nor a lover, he's just always there for me..especially for me to tell him everything about what im going through, coz he seems to be the one to care and actually listen to me..not like others who pretend to care, but never did..


I call him Id, hes a lovely guy, ive known him for ages, when im with him, i can be myself, he is so charming, and very cute, but somehow im not in love with him, we respect each other that way, his girlfriend, is a dear friend of mine, Camelia, is also in Jb, ive no idea which part, i just dont bother to ask..like the name, Camelia is amazingly beautiful, and a good person, in and out, im really happy for them both, for being such a beautiful couple and great to each other..


So Id waited for me after i finish my work, it has been a while, someone waited for me after work, he sat on the sofa for hours, using his I pad that ive no idea how to use..he was there for me..Camelia was not around, she's in JB, she has work to do..she works in QA firm, i think..


Anyways, when i started to talk to Id about my life lately, my eyes became teary..he could see it, when i was quiet and looking at the ground..so he said, " Chill babe, u know u have me, and Camelia..budak2 macam tu, tak payah fikir, buang masa..u are the mature person here, so be mature about it..' those are the exact words that he said..and i will remember it for eternity..yeap, he's right, ive been a foolish person all this while, but yet,i failed to wake up..


Few years back, i used to date his friend, for a while, but he was amazing, his name is Fido,he's in the airline now, a steward, but Fido chose his career, i told him, i dont want him to join the airline, but he said it was his dream, so it was a mutual, and a mature breakup, hes still a good friend of mine, till today..


But Id has witnessed so many heartbroken that ive been to, he has been there forever, i think hes the only guy that has witnessed my tears running on my face, the most..he has always been there, despite his hectic schedule, and his lovely girlfriend, he knows his boundaries, he respect me for who i am, and hes the only person in the world who calls me ANGEL..how sweet is that?


So, Id, if u are reading this, thanks so much, but again, ive failed u..im so sorry..but ur hug means a lot when u left yesterday..

Wasssalam..

WTH?

Dear Blog,

Who cares about my look? Im not pretty, however, im so thankful to ALLAH SWT for giving me everything that i could wish for, i can breath, i can walk, i can talk, i can smile, alhamdulillah..no complain..im just thankful to you ALLAH swt on this holly Friday.. AMIN..

A new promise..

Dear Blog,

Ive made a big promise yesterday, to ALLAH SWT, the almighty, that i will not respond to the person who hurt my feelings, so badly, and so cruelly.. i just feel so low, so pathetic, so cheap, and so forgotten..

I just feel useless, and i just i am so desperately stupid and foolish, for holding on for this long..i just wish, i will keep my promise, i know i've broken my promises before, but i do not want it to happen again ya Allah swt..

Pls help me, give me the strength to move on, though the future might not be what i want, perhaps it may be what i should have..and i will try to embrace it..insyallah..Amin..

Wassalam..

Minka Kelly

Dear Blog,

This girl, is so darn hot , and super2 pretty, i dont care if im a girl, but she is so darn pretty! MasyAllah..

Wassalam..

Miss-ing you..

Dear Blog,

This aint anything, i just am missing him so much..all i could think about is him, its so unfair for me to have this feeling, i really wish, i really hope, everytime when im alone, when i pray, i will stop thinking about him, i really hope, one day Allah swt, the almighty, will take away this feeling, close my heart, really tight, for him, because i know, he doesnt deserve my love, he doesnt deserve me..

But right now, all i could think about is him..

Wassalam..

Redang

Dear Blog,

Its been a while, ive been so lazy to log in, the darn battery for the laptop is not functioning anymore, it has to use the cabel at all time, anyways, on 26th Mar'11, i went to Redang, with my family ( some of them ), and some family friends.

Honestly, the beach was incredible, masyallah, but the weather was so wild. The day that we got there, was ok, but that evening, started to pour rain until the day we went back.

The boat trip to the island was sick! I was so sea sick, i was listening to my songs at all time, on the boat, i was sweating like sick, and i just couldnt believe that i didnt throw up!

But nothing much i can say, the beach was incredible, but i didnt take many photos,i just hate to see photos of myself on the beach, i'll look stupid.

But below are some great photos..

This was the actual beach, it was right in front of our hotel, Laguna Hotel..

our hotel, Laguna Hotel..

Sad part about this trip was, it was so disgusting to see people almost wear nothing, i can understand the kaafir but when muslims dont look like muslims anymore, it was sad.. it really was, and this is one of the reason why i hate to be apart of this sin..im not a holly person, never am, however, there are things that i think, can be avoided..but yet, people chose not to..

Wassalam..

A wedding

Dear Blog,

Every woman, will dream of a beautiful wedding, with a love one by her side..the love that will be for her for the rest of her life..i dream of the same wedding too, but will i ever have one?

Dear Blog,

My sister just got married a month ago, im happy for her, at last, theres a man that will take her to be his wife, im not saying she's a bad person, but she dates a lot, sometimes, i just dont understand it, how can someone thats so disloyal to someone else can end up having something that she always dream of? I guess thats what we call faith..and its faith that determine her to be happy..but will i ever have one?

Dear Blog,

I've always want a wedding, that is so simple, yet so beautiful, with only few people attending, maybe less than 100? Coz in my life, i dont have that many people that are close to me, infact, if i have to list down people that are close to me on a piece of paper, it will end up with a blank paper.. coz really, i dont have anyone close to me..i dont blame people, i guess its just me..but will i ever have one?

Dear Blog,

For me, i only wants to get married ONCE..to someone i really-really love, to someone that can make me happy for the rest of my life, someone that will never hurt me like other guys had, someone that knows who i am and can accept me for who i am, someone that can go through my life together, and support me and do stuff that i cant never imagine i could do without him, someone that i can laugh along with, and not afraid to hold me, not afraid to take my hand when im scared, someone, when i kiss him, he'll hold me, like he doesnt want to let me go..he'll look into my eyes and not afraid to say i love you to me, and someone that im not afraid to say the same thing too..but will i ever have one?

Dear Blog,

I once read, that good things will happen to girls who wait, patiently wait, i hope that is true..because all my life, ive never felt love, ive never felt wanted, ive never felt special, ive never felt needed..and for once, i just want it to happen..i really do..

Amin..


Wassalam..


P/S: I hope one day, i'll have a video like this..=,(

Spill of a dar* coke!

Dear Blog,

I'd to wake up early, to send my dad to the clinic, for a checkup, it was 1030, i couldnt sleep last nite..i tried, but i couldnt, i listen to silly songs, and again, i cried..

I slept at 0500, i think, i didnt even perform my subuh pray..lately im hooked to Indonesian songs, i dont know why, i guess, coz it is slightly related to me..the lyrics..

Ok, so i drove to the clinic, and waited for a while, i was so sleepy, then drove to McD in Taman Tun Hussein Onn, bought McValue meal for Hafiy, then stupid me placed the darn coke at the back seat, where it all spilled out, all over my seat!

The point of today incident is, i texted someone i miss dearly about it, and he ignored it.. i know hes doing the right thing..TO IGNORE ME AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE..i know, but its just so painful, when someone that you want to know everything about your day, especially during gloomy days, chosen to ignore you..the feeling is so..painfull..

He'd made his choice..again, and again..AND he did not choose me..NEVER..and i, i've known that, i do, but im not strong enough to walk away..to just walk straight..im not, i hope one day i will be..

The darn coke ruined the whole day..i hate coke! I hate..i shouldnt hate..

Bila keyakinan ku datang, kasih bukan sekadar cinta,
Pengorbanan cinta yang agung, ku pertaruhkan,
Maafkan bila ku tak sempurna,
Cinta ini, tak mungkin ku cagar,
Ayat-ayat cinta, bercerita,
Cintaku padamu..

  Wassalam..

Why Men Are Disgusting..*sometimes

Ayat-Ayat Cinta

  


This song is taken from the movie "Ayat Ayat Cinta", i dedicate this song, to the person who asked me to watch it, i dont really fancy the movie though, but i knw why he asked me to watch it..this song is for you babe..and i miss u..the old u..

Wassalam..

Bumptop

  



Yes, i know, this video was from 2006, but i just discovered it, its so cool, but bummer, that they've discontinue it or something..*sigh*, super cool!

Wassalam..

Funny Photos

Source from Click here

Cute

Stripped Down

p/S: Why did i have to hold my hair on every photos? Thats weird..

Pretty Stuff

Dear Blog,

I've always wanted a pendant, that mean something, and comes from someone meaningful, but ive yet to get one. I guess, people see me as wearing a hijab means i am not entitle to beautiful things, especially earrings, hair clips & stuff, and also a necklace. But i spend half of my day, without my hijab, so why shouldnt i have one? I guess, it will be in my wishlist, its getting longer and longer *sigh*..

 Wassalam..

I am who i am

Dear Blog,

A lot of people tried to be unique, and distinctive..well i dont, sometimes, i just wish im just like the rest, becoming a normal person, but i guess, i cant help it, that i am who i am..

People would never get me, i dont even get myself:-
Mood swing, poser, vain, ego, stuck up, self centered, loud, quiet, sensitive, hot tempered, hard headed, messy, clean, perfectionist, hardly smile..its all me, that people have said to me before..

Whatever it is, one thing that i love about myself is i am who i am and never once in my life, i want to be somebody else..here are some images, that people've done, ive never thought about it, because, they are who they are, so no matter who you are, just be yourself..

 Wassalam..

New beginning

Dear Blog,

This would be my 2nd blog, i last blogged on September, and yeap, i do miss blogging. Today is 16th March'11, and though so many thing has happened, nothing really change..nothing..

This is like my previous blog, only thing is that i dont tell people about it, maybe not yet..perhaps soon people will know. Im not good in keeping secrets..so dont tell me secrets..im an honest person..haha..

Anyway, this is the new beginning of this blog, as you can tell, this blog is named marieamocha2 obvioulsy the first blog is without the '2', like duh!

So many things to write, so much that i dont know where to start? Well..i will..soon.

Wassalam..